Peace Like A River? Yeah, Right

PEACE LIKE A RIVER??? YEAH, RIGHT.
By: Cammie Cole


Some of our most relaxing, and most stressful, times in our marriage have probably occurred during times spent together on the river. The lazy Saturday morning usually starts something like this; “Hey, let’s go canoeing.”

“Really? But it’s already 11 o’clock. By the time we get on the river and get out it will be after 5 o‘clock.”
“Yeah, I know. But let’s just pack up quickly.”
“Okay. Let’s do it. I’ll go load up the canoe and gear.”
The following series of events include finding lost water shoes, tying and re-tying down the canoe to one of the two vehicles involved in what we call, “putting in” and “taking out.” (If you know anything about canoeing, you must have two vehicles ready … preferably with gas in them!) One vehicle follows the other to the “take out point,” and is then locked up with a dry change of clothes and wallet, but NEVER KEYS!!! Then, the driver from the “take out” vehicle then climbs into the “put in vehicle,” and off the canoeists go to head to the put-in point.

So, on these impromptu mornings, I am generally am the gear-finder / lunch-packer and water bottle-filler. And never interrupt my routine, or I’ve been known to leave the peanut butter behind. So, with some general stress about the canoe slipping off the hood of our small car, and stopping to tie her back down 2 or 3 times en route, we usually reach put-in in about an hour and a half after our initial ‘hey, let’s go canoeing’ conversation.

When we at last reach the water’s edge with our Old Town canoe, we drag her to the water with some general bruising and huffing about how the canoe mysteriously weighs more than it did last time. Once our gear is in, we say a prayer and launch oars. Ahh - like sailing on glass. The fresh breeze caresses my face as the ‘front-man,’ (or woman in my case.) What a peaceful day this will be. I sit in front, as I read the rapids. Craig rides in the bow and steers according to my shouted directions; “Rock on your right!” “Shallow water here, follow that V instead,” Or in fast-moving rapids, he has often heard me yell “LEFT, LEFT, LEFT!!! HURRY, HURRY!!! NOW RIGHT! RIGHT! RIGHT! BACK LEFT!!!!” Or his favorite; “Don’t DRAG OARS!!! PADDLE!” Most of our arguments arise from the last bit of bull-headedness about how to turn a canoe in fast water. Dragging is great for slow water turns, but in a quick-move situation, the strength of two paddling arms is often required. We’ve hit rocks or tipped over on occasion because instead of feeling the expected quick turn to avoid collision, I feel like I’m dragging a dead camel in the back. And I know, “he’s done it again.” He loves to drag. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not anti-dragging, just not in rapid water. It just doesn’t work. And it will ruin the day like a bee sting to the armpit -- of which I acquired THREE on our last lightning and cold rain-soaked trip.

So, in a given day, our conversation may include things like; “OH! There‘s our eagle!” Or, “Ooh, look at the deer and fawn up ahead. Shh. Let’s see how close we can get.” Then we glide on mirrored tree-lined glass in silence for minutes at a time to view nature at her best. And yet on the very same trip, you may hear us yelling at one another, “Craig! Just do what I say! I’m the navigator!” “Oh shut up!” “No, YOU shut up!” “No, YOU shut up.” Shocked? Really mature for a pastoral couple in their late thirties, I know. But the river has a way of bringing out the good, the bad and the ugly in couples.


Last summer, we took another couple along canoeing. They were novices and newly engaged. And we watched their engagement almost unfold as the wife-to-be continued to get run into overhanging branches, smacking her in the face and grabbing at her hair. I hate to admit I felt a little justified in our canoeing ‘spats’ as we watched the river dish out it’s best on our friends! Horrible of me, I know. But, they survived the trip, and have survived several more since. And best yet, they’re still getting married! But if you ever want to test a new relationship - just get in a canoe on a 4 hour trip with your new sweetie, and you’ll see what he or she is truly made of!

Then there are capsize days. We pray hard against them, but they come anyway. I’ve learned when a rapid is to big or to fast or I cannot find an “arrow,“ (an upside-down “V” in the water.) This is the way through. The water will always point like an arrow where you can safely proceed through either shallow water or a rapid. However, if the “arrow” is pointing at you, prepare for the worst! So sometimes we must abandon the rowing, and “portage” - this means “carry” the boat along either through the water, or sometimes the shoreline. Craig is really adverse to the latter method. He feels somehow shoreline portaging is like cheating in a game. He’d rather canoe it alone and fall out then to portage ashore.

But I digress. Back to falling out; The first “dump” was still our worst. I got pretty banged up and the water was ferocious that day, white-capping all around the offending boulder. If it hadn’t been for the fishermen with nets on that particular stretch of the river, we would have lost all our gear, including oars. You NEVER want to lose an oar. However, the latest “dump” was completely avoidable. We were with another set of friends who’ve been navigating these rivers for years. As we sat in slow-moving glassy water talking and fishing, Craig decided he wanted to cool off and suddenly jumped out of the canoe from behind me… and in that moment, I went as well. (Imagine the physics of a see-saw; one kid jumps off … and voila, two kids hit the dirt, or in our case, water.” Our friends just laughed and laughed at my unsuspecting plunge. I could hear them UNDER WATER. Yeah. I didn’t find it so funny, as I lost my sunglasses and would travel the long ride home wet.

I was fairly enraged at my loving husband. He can be a kind of bull-in-the-china-closet kind of guy at times, and is generally within arm’s length of yours truly when he goes into such mode. But that day he was truly repentant for plunging me into the river, albeit with barely suppressed laughter, but I was not to be un-miffed. It’s one thing to plan a plunge, quite another to be dumped unawares.

And so it amazes me that I so often awake on a summer Saturday morning thinking we can escape it all on the river, only to find the river only amplifies our human flaws, and mirrors our marriage journey all the more. How is it I am always convinced it will do otherwise? It reminds me of something I read once about the nature of giving; that basically if you are poor and give freely, if you ever find yourself wealthy, you will be still be a rich giver. But if you do not give in your poverty, you will not do so in wealth. Wealth only amplifies who you were when you were lacking. True also of the river. She will only amplify who you are on dry land. Wealth doesn’t solve our problems, nor does a day on the river remove our vices, but we have a God who “while we were yet sinners,” laid down His life for us. As a wife, I must be willing to love and respect my husband on land and in the river. And he must be willing to lay his life down for mine, even as Christ did for us. And when we truly need rest, Jesus promises he will “lead us beside still waters, and restore our souls.” No dumping, portaging, or arguing involved. Now that’s a day on the river I look forward to!